At a recent show, my head started to hurt. I pushed my helmet up a little to get relief. It felt better for a while, but then I had to push it up again. The headache continued and I developed a dent in my forehead. Finally I decided I needed some help, so I visited Jennifer Mckiernan- at The Tack Warehouse.Read More
I get a lot of suggestions for articles; one of the topics that comes up most frequently is envy among fellow riders and the discomfort it creates at the barn.
Let’s start by defining our terms so we know what we’re talking about. What is envy?Read More
Have you fallen off your horse and hurt yourself? Did you sustain injuries not only to your body but also to your psyche? In our career as equestrians, most of us will experience a nasty fall or two. When a young rider tumbled off at the IEA Nationals last year, the announcer said matter-of-factly, ‘well, the only riders who don’t fall are those who don’t ride.’ True words.Read More
What is it about girls and horses? Why are girls—and women—so passionate about riding?
Because on the back of a horse we are powerful, effective, and full of ourselves. We are leaders.
There are lots of other reasons too, of course. But considering the gender gap in confidence, horses can play a vital role in developing women’s self esteem and leadership skills.Read More
I see a lot of misunderstanding and mistrust in our industry. Clients are upset with trainers; trainers are frustrated with riders; and non-rider parents often feel out of the loop when it comes to the horses.Read More
Serena Williams’ Nike ad during the Oscars was a show stopper for me, as for many women. Dream Crazier. Williams speaks powerfully about how we women are told our dreams are unattainable, crazy, delusional—and that we should give them up—or at least lower our expectations.Read More
Recently one of my clients exclaimed, “maybe I’m just too old to be doing this.” This person is not old by any means; her comment emerged from her sense of guilt for enjoying the horses so much and wanting to continue to show ‘at her age.’ I wanted to exclaim—what, too old? Are you kidding me? (She’s at least a decade younger than I am!)Read More
Forty eight lucky riders were treated to the NorCal Hunter Jumper Association’s clinic with superstar grand prix rider and trainer Mandy Porter. The clinic, which was really two clinics spanning over two days each, was hosted by Leone Equestrians in Sacramento from November 29-December 2, 2018.Read More
A few riders and I were recently having a conversation about how we conduct ourselves in and out of the show ring. Our discussion was spurred by Izzy Baker’s The Kindness Movement (see recent interview on Street Stable) which she launched last year to raise awareness about kindness, the prevalence of bullying in our sport and how our community sometimes places value only on results. Our conversation meandered over to the topic of dignity, and how it relates to kindness.Read More
As the year comes to a close and our schedules ease up, many of us start to think about where we have been and where we want to go—both in riding and in our lives generally. As we reflect on our accomplishments and challenges of the past 12 months, it’s a great time to give thanks for everything the year has offered and contemplate the growth we desire for the new year.Read More
Recently, I heard someone remark that a particular junior rider had ‘wonderfully supportive’ parents. The comment made me pause and think—what does it mean to be ‘a supportive parent’ in the horse world? Sometimes this phrase is used to mean that parents are financially generous. Those gifts are one kind of support, yet there are other essential aspects of parental support that often go unacknowledged.
Sometimes saying ‘no’ is the most supportive thing you can do.Read More
Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!
I love this holiday because it gives us the space and time to really honor our gratitude for things large and small. For me, 2018 was a big year; I’d like to share some of what I am thankful for with you. I would be grateful if you share your list with me as well.Read More
I'm thrilled to share my story in Hélène Tragos Stelian's blog, the Next Act for Women. Her blog is full of inspiring stories of women's transformation in mid life. Check out the full interview below:
The desire to be fully present with and for her children was the catalyst for Darby Bonomi, PhD to close her psychology practice of over 20 years and embark on a new path. Now, as her kids are older and more independent, Darby has combined her passion for horses and the equestrian sports with her background in psychology to become a performance consultant to equestrians and their families.Read More
I love to learn from different people and see things from various vantage points. I find that everyone--young or old--has something to teach me and something to offer to the world. One of the most gratifying things about my job is that I get to help people reconnect with their own gifts, from which they have become disconnected. I am always curious how riders of all ages and levels of experience fuel their performance, keep a balanced perspective and continue to grow as they pursue their passion and navigate the ups and downs of the show world.Read More
My blog on making friends with fear touched a nerve. I heard from many riders about how they feel fear, anxiety, and even trepidation going into not only their show rounds but also their lessons at home. It’s clear that we as a group are very gritty and determined. Nonetheless, this question presents itself: if we are pursuing our passion, why don’t we lead with joy more of the time?Read More
No project takes place without a lot of support, and in this post I’d like to recognize some of the dedicated folks who have been helping me along the way. From the first shreds of an idea to the ongoing marketing, I’ve been assisted by some wonderful people who deserve acknowledgement.Read More