Darby Bonomi PhD gives equestrians and their families a Leg Up by providing the tools and perspective to find joy, achieve greater well-being, and improve performance.
Recently one of my clients exclaimed, “maybe I’m just too old to be doing this.” This person is not old by any means; her comment emerged from her sense of guilt for enjoying the horses so much and wanting to continue to show ‘at her age.’ I wanted to exclaim—what, too old? Are you kidding me? (She’s at least a decade younger than I am!)
Read MoreForty eight lucky riders were treated to the NorCal Hunter Jumper Association’s clinic with superstar grand prix rider and trainer Mandy Porter. The clinic, which was really two clinics spanning over two days each, was hosted by Leone Equestrians in Sacramento from November 29-December 2, 2018.
Read MoreA few riders and I were recently having a conversation about how we conduct ourselves in and out of the show ring. Our discussion was spurred by Izzy Baker’s The Kindness Movement (see recent interview on Street Stable) which she launched last year to raise awareness about kindness, the prevalence of bullying in our sport and how our community sometimes places value only on results. Our conversation meandered over to the topic of dignity, and how it relates to kindness.
Read MoreAs the year comes to a close and our schedules ease up, many of us start to think about where we have been and where we want to go—both in riding and in our lives generally. As we reflect on our accomplishments and challenges of the past 12 months, it’s a great time to give thanks for everything the year has offered and contemplate the growth we desire for the new year.
Read MoreRecently, I heard someone remark that a particular junior rider had ‘wonderfully supportive’ parents. The comment made me pause and think—what does it mean to be ‘a supportive parent’ in the horse world? Sometimes this phrase is used to mean that parents are financially generous. Those gifts are one kind of support, yet there are other essential aspects of parental support that often go unacknowledged.
Sometimes saying ‘no’ is the most supportive thing you can do.
Read MoreHappy Thanksgiving, Everyone!
I love this holiday because it gives us the space and time to really honor our gratitude for things large and small. For me, 2018 was a big year; I’d like to share some of what I am thankful for with you. I would be grateful if you share your list with me as well.
Read MoreInterview for The Competitive Equestrian Magazine, performance consultant, Dr. Darby Bonomi talks about Reclaiming Joy in riding for connection and success.
Read MoreI'm thrilled to share my story in Hélène Tragos Stelian's blog, the Next Act for Women. Her blog is full of inspiring stories of women's transformation in mid life. Check out the full interview below:
The desire to be fully present with and for her children was the catalyst for Darby Bonomi, PhD to close her psychology practice of over 20 years and embark on a new path. Now, as her kids are older and more independent, Darby has combined her passion for horses and the equestrian sports with her background in psychology to become a performance consultant to equestrians and their families.
Read MoreI love to learn from different people and see things from various vantage points. I find that everyone--young or old--has something to teach me and something to offer to the world. One of the most gratifying things about my job is that I get to help people reconnect with their own gifts, from which they have become disconnected. I am always curious how riders of all ages and levels of experience fuel their performance, keep a balanced perspective and continue to grow as they pursue their passion and navigate the ups and downs of the show world.
Read MoreMy blog on making friends with fear touched a nerve. I heard from many riders about how they feel fear, anxiety, and even trepidation going into not only their show rounds but also their lessons at home. It’s clear that we as a group are very gritty and determined. Nonetheless, this question presents itself: if we are pursuing our passion, why don’t we lead with joy more of the time?
Read MoreNo project takes place without a lot of support, and in this post I’d like to recognize some of the dedicated folks who have been helping me along the way. From the first shreds of an idea to the ongoing marketing, I’ve been assisted by some wonderful people who deserve acknowledgement.
Read MoreDoes our sport create tension between you and your rider? Do your worries sometimes interfere with your rider’s ability to focus? Parenting a competitive equestrian is tricky; I know from personal experience. I hope you’ll join me in conversation as we explore this topic. Please let me know if I can help you get clarity on some of these issues in your own family. Parents are my clients too.
Read MoreI used to ride scared. I still do sometimes, but now I’ve made better friends with fear. Not perfect friends, mind you, but better friends. After all these years, we’re still getting to know each other. Most of the riders who come to me for help are wrestling with some form of fear: going too fast, jumping too high, falling off, missing a distance, going off course, not being perfect.
Read MoreInvesting in a horse of your own is tremendously exciting! For most of us, it's also a big financial commitment. Even if the initial cost of the horse is modest, the ongoing upkeep in terms of board, training, veterinary, and farrier expenses is substantial. Remember it costs as much to keep a cheap horse as it does an expensive horse…and even more expensive to keep a lame horse! Just as with any investment, be sure to do your due diligence and hire the right experts to guide you.
Read MoreA few months ago, I attended a year end medal finals with my youngest daughter. Similar to all medal finals, it’s a big deal. Riders have worked all year and are eager to display their well honed skills. Trainers are amped up too, of course. There is a lot of pressure not only because it’s the finals, but also because there is an age limit. For a lot of riders, this will be their last chance to grab this particular win. Hence, the pressure is on.
Read MoreI think I speak for most amateur and junior riders: we don’t get nearly enough time with our horses! Barn time is wedged between work, school and family commitments. Many riders not-so-jokingly refer to barn time as their ‘therapy.’ Why is that? I think it’s because horses invite us—really require us—to leave behind all the busy-ness of our lives and be right there with them.
Read MoreI’m not a big believer in New Year’s resolutions. I aim to live each day to its fullest and bring my best self to every decision and moment. Nonetheless, the turn of the calendar offers us an invitation to step back and reflect on where we’ve been and where we want to go. For me, 2017 served up plenty of change and with that change an opportunity to realign my priorities and my path for 2018.
Read MorePerformance coaching for the equestrian.
Darby Bonomi, PhD
+1 (415) 713-4234
darby@darbybonomi.com
