Start with your Why, End with Gratitude: Offering Perspective and Tools at a National Final
For the past 2 years, I have been the sport psychology speaker at USEF’s National Pony Finals at the Kentucky Horse Park in Lexington, KY. In this blog, I’m going to summarize some of the information that I offered to those young riders, their trainers and parents, with the hope that it will be helpful to others too.
In this year’s seminar, I turned my usual presentation on its head by starting with the big picture, and worked my way down to discussing various performance tools and strategies. I started by asking riders to think about the big picture—their ‘Why.’ We all have various ‘whys’ that define our lives, but in this case I asked them to consider both their general riding ‘Why’ and their specific ‘Why’ for being at this particular competition.
Our ‘Why’ is our guiding light—it frames our perspective and our focus, and grounds us in what is meaningful.
My second major point, flowing directly from knowing your ‘Why’—was to suggest that riders define specifically what they aim to accomplish in each ride. Every day we need to define our challenges and our successes, and each day is a little different based on varying internal and external factors. I reminded the riders that judges do not know what we are working on or challenged with, and therefore do not know what our personal successes are. A winning round for us may not be a winning round in a class, and sometimes we may come out on top even if we didn’t accomplish a personal task.
We define our wins, and what we need to work on!
Next, I discussed the fact that all riders—even those at the highest evels—sometimes get off their game. We delved into the mental and emotional obstacles that typically interfere with optimal performance (nerves, fear of failure, fear of disappointing someone, over-competitiveness, ‘what if’ thinking, etc.). We also talked about the importance of carefully managing our mental state on show days. I advised: don’t indulge in ‘junk thoughts!’ That is, just because you think it doesn’t mean you have to believe it.
What you think is what you create.
I emphasized that mental and emotional fitness, or preparedness, takes continual work—just like physical fitness. (We don’t work out for a week and then declare ourselves fit; it’s a continual, evolving process to develop and maintain fitness.) I encouraged everyone to craft a pre-performance mental/emotional routine (or warm-up) for both home and competition. I led participants through a version of a warm up that included a mindfulness meditation designed to clear and calm the mind, release stress from the body, and step into a performance mindset.
Awesomeness doesn’t just emerge. We have to prepare for it in order to create it.
I ended with some guidance for parents on how best to support their riders, reminding them to let their trainers do the training while they do the parenting. Junior riders need love and support—and also need us parents to keep focused on what is most important, both in riding and in life.
I had quite a few questions afterward, including many coaches who feel they need help in knowing how to support and manage families. Several trainers approached me with their stress in dealing with parents who don’t understand the complexities of the sport and are impatient for top results. Trainers have a very multifaceted job, and one of those jobs is to educate parents and children about the process of becoming an accomplished rider. It is also the parents’ and rider’s job, however, to educate themselves about our sport—and to remind themselves that one doesn’t become a champion in any sport in a short period of time.
Champions have an attitude of gratitude.
Last but certainly not least, I urged everyone to stay connected to what they are grateful for. Performances that emerge from a grateful mental/emotional state are always elevated.